I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
