So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
