google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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