My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I am one with the molecules
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
