what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
