No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
