I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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