Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
