that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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