The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
