alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
