We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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