This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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