I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
His nipple licking is glorious
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