My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
