at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
