Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
