Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
