id be glad to
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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