If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
