she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I need moral support for this bender
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
