I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
