I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
