If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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