He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
