Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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