I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
