the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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