She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
