I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Randomize
