I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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