Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
