Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
