She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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