In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
