Its about making memories worth repressing
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
