you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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