Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
