Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt

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(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.

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(434): View more from Virginia

NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

How's work?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Spinning.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.

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(330): View more from Ohio

If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.

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(425): View more from Washington

I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?

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