nut hugger
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
