I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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