Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
