I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
