dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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