i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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