so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
