Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
