I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
