Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
3pm strippers are depressing
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
