WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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