I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize