i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
