You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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