She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
