oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
