it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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