Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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