i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
