their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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