FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's just like the Real World with babies
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
