I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
