Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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